Are You Unconsciously “Shutting the Door” on Love?

Hey there, gorgeous!                                                 

I hope this week has been treating you well so far. I’m writing this note to you from my local coffee shop as we are experiencing a power outage in Venice due to heavy rain. It is wet and cold here in LA!

However, it warms my heart to have seen so many women AND men marching in solidarity this week all over the nation for human rights.

There was a lot of anger expressed out there, but I hope now that is has been released, we can move forward in a productive way that is peaceful, positive, and loving.

However, my biggest hope and prayer for the world is for more empathy.

When we judge another person for feeling differently about something than we do or reacting in a way that we would not, it creates a wall that prevents human connection. Judgement shuts down the conversation needed in order for healing to occur.

Diversity is not only beautiful, but it is the engine that drives innovation.

Thinking, doing, and saying the same things over and over again creates the same results.

In contrast, being open to different thoughts, opinions, and experiences stimulates creativity and therefore new solutions to the global and personal challenges we face.

The willingness to hold space for perspectives and experiences that are different from our own, with curiosity, humility, and non-judgment allows us to build healthy and happy relationships with others.

When someone expresses a thought or feeling that you don’t share or understand, take the time to observe yourself. Do you react with anger and/or judgment?

Empathizing doesn’t mean agreeing with the other person. It means that you try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, imagining what it might feel like to be them.

Of course, there is actually no way to fully know what another person’s experience is. However, just being able to recognize this changes the dynamic of any exchange.

It moves the vibe of any interaction from “I don’t agree or understand with what you’re saying and therefore now you’re wrong”, which shuts down the conversation, to “I don’t agree or understand what you’re saying, but you must have a reason for feeling the way you do and because I care about you and how you feel, I’d like an opportunity to understand where you’re coming from. Will you tell me more so that I can learn more about you?”

As we finish out the first month of 2017, if it is your desire to find love, I encourage you to look closely at your ability to empathize with others.

Usually, when we rush to judge others, it’s a reflection of how quickly we tend to judge ourselves.

Happy and healthy relationships, whether they are romantic, friendly, familial, or professional are built on a foundation of self-love.

When our cups are full, we can freely give to others without resentment or expectations. When we can “hold space” for ourselves, we can more easily “hold space” for others.

I hope this serves you.

All my love and gratitude,

Heather xoxo

 

P.S. If you’re ready to find love in 2017 and committed to doing the emotional and spiritual work necessary to become emotionally available to be in your dream relationship, check out my 90-Day Private Coaching Program here. Curious about coaching, but not sure if it’s for you, booking a FREE Discovery Session with me here.

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Heather WilsonComment